grief counseling seattle

First and foremost, grief is not a mental illness or pathology. It is not something that can be “fixed” or cured, and nor should it be. Grief is a natural, healthy emotional response to loss, typically involving the death of a loved one, end of relationship, job, or significant life changes. It is a deeply personal experience that varies from person to person.

• Grief is as much a physical process as it is mental and emotional

• Emotional symptoms associated with grief are complex and may include:

  • Sadness

  • Anger- feeling that the loss is unfair or shouldn’t have happened

  • Anxiety

  • Guilt- feeling like you could have done something to prevent the loss, or for experiencing moments of feeling good after

  • Relief- especially after prolonged illness and witnessing your loved one suffering, common with caretakers or if you had a complicated or abusive relationship with who you lost

• Feelings of grief may fluctuate in intensity and come in waves- you might only feel some of these emotions or several at the same time

• Physical symptoms of grief are common due to changes in the nervous system, they include:

  • Fatigue and heaviness in the body

  • Changes in appetite and weight

  • Headaches, skin rashes

  • Increased or decreased energy

  • Sleep difficulties and restlessness

• The stress of grief can take a toll on the body, taking care of both your mental and physical health is essential after loss

• Mental symptoms associated with grief can include:

  • Brain fog and disorientation- forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating or making decisions

  • Dissociation- feeling numb, detached and disconnected

  • Shock, confusion and disbelief

  • Existential or spiritual struggles- changes in beliefs or faith, questioning the meaning of life, loss of interest in what used to inspire you

• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief are recognized as:

  1. Denial – Difficulty accepting the loss, feeling numb or in shock.

  2. Anger – Frustration, questioning "Why me?" or feeling resentful about the loss.

  3. Bargaining – Attempting to make deals or asking "What if?" in hopes of reversing the loss.

  4. Depression – Experiencing deep sadness, regret, and sorrow over the loss.

  5. Acceptance – Finding a sense of peace with the reality of the loss.

• David Kessler, a grief expert, proposed a sixth stage of grief: Finding Meaning. This stage involves seeking understanding and purpose after the loss. It can be a crucial step toward healing, as it allows individuals to:

  1. Reflect on the life and legacy of the person they lost.

  2. Identify positive changes or growth resulting from the grief experience.

  3. Discover new ways to honor the memory of their loved one and find a renewed sense of purpose.

• The grief stages are not experienced in a set order. Many experience these stages in different sequences, skip some stages, or revisit them throughout the healing process.

• Grief is a non-linear process, meaning the stages are not experienced in a set order and may repeat as apart of the healing journey.

There is no one-size-fits-all “right” way to grieve. Everyone will need something different and the grieving process will look different for everyone. It will be messy and that’s okay. If you’re feeling lost, here are some guidelines to remember:

• Allow yourself time and space: Give yourself permission to feel all emotions without judgment or worry they’ll never go away.

• Lean in to your grief: Notice how when you allow yourself to fully feel an emotion, it eventually shifts and changes.

• Reach out for support: Let others know what you are going through and what you need. Surround yourself with people that feel supportive and require little energy to be with. It also might feel good to spend time by yourself and that’s normal. If you are feeling alone- consider meeting with a grief counselor or therapist.

• Self-care during grief: Focus on rest, feeding yourself regularly, and movement that feels good to help your body process emotional energy.

• Create grief rituals or memorials: Honor your loved one in meaningful ways, such as organizing a memorial or creating a ritual to integrate the loss.

• Be patient with your grief: Healing takes time. Integrating a loss is a process that will shift and change over time.

Unfortunately, life does not pause when we are grieving and we are still expected to keep up with the demands of life while carrying the weight of deep emotional pain.

Sometimes, those closest to us can’t provide all the support we need. Grief counseling can be a place to release and process painful emotions you might not be able to in other areas of your life.

While grief is a normal, healthy part of the human experience, there are times when a therapist can be a helpful guide in the process. You may want to consider grief counseling if you are experiencing:

• Traumatic grief due to losing someone to suicide, homicide, accidents, or the death of a child

• Difficulty functioning in daily life due to grief

• Prolonged feelings of hopelessness or isolation

• Difficulty grieving losses from the past due to their traumatic nature or lack of support

You might be feeling overwhelmed and lost, a therapist can help guide you through the grieving process while creating a safe container for you to process strong emotions.